Humor Quotes

Humor Quotes

I heard that in relativity theory, space and time are the same thing. Einstein discovered this when he kept showing up three miles late for his meetings. -
Steven Wright
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Humor Quotes

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. -
Peter Ustinov

Humor Quotes

I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room. -
Steven Wright
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Humor Quotes

I just recently figured out how mirrors work. Pretty cool. That guy always hungrily staring at my naked body was me! -
Jarod Kintz

Humor Quotes

I keep my love in the fridge, next to my meat, because you simply can’t beat it. -
Jarod Kintz
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Humor Quotes

I know all those words, but that sentence makes no sense to me. -
Matt Groening