Humor Quotes | |
| I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room. - | |
| Steven Wright | |
|
ADVERTISEMENTS
| |
Humor Quotes | |
| I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. - | |
| Steven Wright | |
Humor Quotes | |
| I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. - | |
| Steven Wright | |
|
ADVERTISEMENTS
| |
Death Quotes | |
| I tried to hang myself with a bungee cord. I kept almost dying. - | |
| Steven Wright | |
Humor Quotes | |
| I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time" so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance. - | |
| Steven Wright | |
|
ADVERTISEMENTS
| |
Humor Quotes | |
| I wish, when I was first born, the first thing I said was "Quote" so the last thing I said before I died would be "Unquote. - | |
| Steven Wright |