Humor Quotes | |
| Not only am I thinking about getting a nose job, but I’m also trying to get employment for the rest of my face. - | |
| Jarod Kintz | |
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Death Quotes | |
| Of all the ways to murder someone, slowly, over the course of about 75 years or so, is the best way to not get caught. Nobody, not even Sherlock Holmes, would suspect a thing. - | |
| Jarod Kintz | |
Humor Quotes | |
| On the night of the murder I was at home, asleep. The characters in my dream can vouch for me. - | |
| Jarod Kintz | |
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Humor Quotes | |
| On the scale of tomato to ketchup, my girlfriend is definitely a 57. - | |
| Jarod Kintz | |
Humor Quotes | |
| On your birthday you should throw me a party. This is my advice for everybody, especially my clones. - | |
| Jarod Kintz | |
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Love Quotes | |
| Our love was covered in fur, yet I was the only one who wanted to pet it. - | |
| Jarod Kintz |