George Carlin

Humor Quotes

Electricity is really just organized lighting -
George Carlin
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Humor Quotes

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. -
George Carlin

Humor Quotes

I bet you anything that 10 times out of 10, Nicky, Vinny and Tony will beat the shit out of Todd, Kyle and Tucker. -
George Carlin
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Humor Quotes

I think I am, therefore, I am... I think. -
George Carlin

Humor Quotes

I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: "Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was. -
George Carlin
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Humor Quotes

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood. -
George Carlin