Dave Barry

Humor Quotes

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling. -
Dave Barry
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Humor Quotes

Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects. -
Dave Barry

Humor Quotes

Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. This is also true of religion, although you will not find me saying so in print. -
Dave Barry
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Humor Quotes

I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories. -
Dave Barry

Humor Quotes

If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would have made them cute and furry. -
Dave Barry
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Humor Quotes

It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells... to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin. -
Dave Barry