Augusten Burroughs

Humor Quotes

Although I was able to maintain a pleasant expression, I was mentally throwing up in her face. -
Augusten Burroughs
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Humor Quotes

Doctor, if being a bitch is healthy, then I am the healthiest damn woman on the face of the earth -
Augusten Burroughs

Humor Quotes

I am prone to envy. It is one of my three default emotions, the others being greed and rage. I have also experienced compassion and generosity, but only fleetingly and usually while drunk, so I have little memory. -
Augusten Burroughs
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Happiness Quotes

You would be amazed by what you can give up, lose, or break, and yet still be a person who gets happy over brownies. -
Augusten Burroughs
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